North Valley News | A Ministry of NVBC

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When Your Children Marry

written by on the topic of Ladies Only on February, 2009

Welcome to the month of February and from my heart to yours, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you.” I hope this is a special month for each one of you.

In very recent years, the entire month of February has been designated as the month in which we express our love and gratitude to those closest to us (mates, children, grandchildren, church members , etc.). How sad it would be to live a life where you didn’t know you were loved by those closest to you. Pastor very often makes this statement when he preaches: “ Love is always a demonstration.” Think of ways this month that you can demonstrate your love to the people in your life. I imagine that you can come up with quite a list if you really work at it.

Bro. Trieber and I are thrilled that since the last issue of the North Valley news, our son, Tim, was recently engaged to Miss Rebecca Brown of Washington, Iowa! Another good man bites the dust!! Not really! We will be thrilled to add Rebecca to our family “officially” on May 29—but, even before they were engaged, we had already accepted her as one of our own. Although I have two sons-in-law, I have not yet had the privilege of having a daughter-in-law! I am looking forward to seeing how miserable I can make her life! That was said in jest and, although it has been said that there is “an element of truth in every remark,” I am excited to have a daughter-in-law! Having married children is great!

I don’t think my children would disagree with me when I say that I truly try to be a great “mother- in-law”! When your child chooses a life’s partner in marriage, it is very important that you accept and love that person for who he or she is! As our family has enlarged itself, our love enlarges as well to encompass those that have joined our family! We have a long list of those of you who are adding married children to your family! This is one of the benefits and blessings of having stayed at North Valley for 33 years! Watching your children grow up and marry is both rewarding and fulfilling as their Pastor’s wife.

I am not the perfect mother-in-law, and I have been the brunt of many a mother-in-law joke; but, I try to put into practice the following which I will share with you. When your children marry,

  1. Let them be themselves! Don’t try to make them a carbon copy of you!
  2. Don’t enforce your rules on them. God will speak to them as He does you.
  3. Treat each one special. The old cliché “Blood is thicker than water” should not apply to your sons- and daughters-in-law!
  4. Encourage them, and let them know you are proud of what they are becoming through Christ.
  5. Do special things for them. Money is, more often than not, scarce in those early days. I know that, with the economy right now, we all could use a little extra. But if you can be a blessing financially, do so. Don’t have that “great depression“ attitude of, “We didn’t have it when we were their age!” Life isn’t the same as when you grew up!!
  6. As hard as it is, keep your opinions to yourself unless you are asked or you are all involved in a discussion!
  7. Please allow your sons-in-law to be the head of their families! Ouch! I can’t believe I said that! If I had the time, I would share with you how my son-in-law Ryan made that very clear to me early on in their marriage! I can remember the time, and I can show you the place!
  8. Don’t expect them to do everything just like you do it. Your daughters might set up housekeeping differently than you! How wonderful!! Orange shag carpet isn’t in style now, remember??
  9. Let them include you as they want to, and don’t pout when they don’t! Believe it or not, they will have their own circle of friends!
  10. Enjoy the times you do have with your married children. If you are all that you should be as an in-law, guess what? They all come home and those are extra special times for you!

I am more than excited about another wedding in the Trieber family. I will admit, however, that it will be nice to be on the groom’s side of the financial end!! Enjoy those married children, and think about all of those wonderful grandbabies they will bring into your family. They are worth it!

Have a wonderful “love” month!!

Mrs. Trieber

About the Author

Cindie Trieber has served the people of our ministry for more than three decades as the Pastor’s Wife. She teaches in the college and is a godly mother and “Nana." She recently completed her first book entitled With All My Heart.

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