Marriage: There Will Be Trouble
You are going to have problems in marriage!
Don’t let anyone fool you. Marriage isn’t always easy. Your marriage will face trials and tests. Your marriage will be difficult at times. There will be disagreements, miscommunications, unmet expectations, disillusionment, frustrations, failures and heartbreaks. Marriage can be tough.
I know, I know. God’s Word tells us “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” So, marriage can’t be all that bad, right?!? Marriage is a God-ordained, wonderful institution. A biblical marriage brings a spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional bond with another human being that is indescribable and unmatched by any other human relationship. Marriage allows us to enjoy some of life’s greatest joys, memories, and relationships. It can help individuals fulfill their purpose for living. Within marriage, God often chooses to bless us with children and grandchildren who bring us such joy. Yes, marriage can be great and wonderful, and that is exactly how God intended it to be. But, it is not always “peaches and cream.”
Now that I got the “marriage is great” disclaimer out of the way, let me repeat: You are going to have problems in marriage! You may ask, “How do you know I will have trouble in my marriage?” Because God’s Word tells me you will.
I Corinthians 7:28 says, “But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh:“ That is a promise. It’s a guarantee. And there has never been one marriage that has been the exception to this rule. This verse basically teaches, if you get married, you are asking for trouble. And many husbands and wives out there could echo a loud “Amen.”
In all seriousness, it is impossible to put two imperfect people together and expect perfection.
It is impossible to put two sinful people together and expect sinlessness.
It is impossible to put two different opinions together and expect to be of the same mind in every situation.
It is impossible to put two people who each have troubles in their individual lives and expect their union to have no troubles.
Think about it. You are bringing together two individuals with varying degrees of:
- Different backgrounds
- Different family dynamics
- Different traditions
- Different cultures or customs
- Different worldviews
- Different life experiences
- Different relationship skills
- Different ways of resolving conflict
- Different regions of upbringing
- Different training
- Different levels of spirituality
- Different hobbies
- Different skill sets
- Different interests
- Different communication skills
- Different preferences
- Different taste buds
- Different expectations
- Different personalities
- Different, different, different!
And we wonder why we sometimes struggle to become one flesh! Why are you surprised when troubles come to your marriage? Understand that God’s Word and our individual differences guarantee that you will have some obstacles to overcome as you travel the road of a lifelong marriage together.
For several years, I have taught a weekly Bible class for engaged and newly married couples in our church. Very often, I find newlyweds who become discouraged and disillusioned at their “fairytale” life a few months into marriage. They thought they would be enjoying “happily ever after” every moment of every day and that hasn’t been the case. They may think, “Where did we go wrong?” Some may even wonder if they made a wrong choice in getting married. They didn’t prepare themselves for the inevitable transition that comes along with marriage. And, every challenge that arises just causes them more anxiety and fear that their marriage is bound to end up in the junk heap of divorce like so many others.
Let me say, troubles are not an indicator that your marriage is doomed. Difficulties do not reveal that you married the wrong person. No matter whom you married, once you are married, that is the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with! And God can make it a wonderful life together. But, it won’t automatically happen just because you bought each other wedding rings and shared some wedding cake and punch with your friends and family after a thirty minute ceremony. A wonderful, loving, fulfilling marriage never happens without some bumps along the way.
Understand that God’s Word promises, “trouble in the flesh.” You aren’t the first marriage to face troubles. You can work through your difficulties AND build a stronger marriage as you do. If you can learn to understand where the problems are going to come from and how to biblically fix them, you can enjoy the wonderful life that God intends for you and your spouse.
In next month’s article, I will share with you what I believe are the three main causes for conflict in marriage. I will also give a biblical cure for each problem. Until then, be ready. You may face some trouble in your marriage this month. It’s okay. It’s not time to quit on the marriage that you promised to stay in. God knew you would face these challenges, and He can help you through them.
No one you know has the perfect marriage. The marriages that you may look at and wish you had have all faced problems just like you. They have just worked through them and allowed God to bring them together like only He can.
Are you married? There will be trouble. Be ready.